We are anxious

The characters and images were old news that I thought I had put to rest. It's not a pleasant experience and I thought I had left that all behind. They weren't there when we arrived and we have not heard from them all week. We found another listed with no contact number and another in a neighbouring town. I have had more blessings than them and it may come up later in their experience. We were most disappointed and returned to my home to look for another local blessing giver.
There is a local drop-in once a week, but that was also cancelled this week. Although the floating or calming feeling has remained with all of us, nothing different was noticed during the week, except for one exception. Our next Deeksha was scheduled for today at the home of Angela and Shane. This was Deeksha number five. So, it has become fairly obvious that I will not have a Deeksha this week. Jane was the one who gave me my first two Deekshas. She did stop by for a couple of minutes after the Deeksha was over, just to touch base. I am beginning to think we are awfully hard on our practitioners and they don't want to be involved. I declined as it is a longer drive for me. We were expecting Jane, another Deeksha giver to be there and add to the energy. Nothing unusual happened during the almost two hours my sister, her friend and I attended the meeting.
In the book, it is reported that the Deeksha can be much stronger with others attending, either givers or receivers. I Operating Room Stainless Steel Products Suppliers went through this when I took up the "holosync" program several years ago. As a group we do ask a lot of questions and talk extensively. I went to the blessing site on the internet to find another local practitioner. The book said it is common for seven to eight weeks to go by before one would notice changes and we want to move forward. As I don't believe in coincidence, the missing blessing this week must have a purpose. Tuesday evening was an incredibly upsetting night for me. Neither my sister nor her friend has gone through this.
We are anxious to live out the Deeksha experience so my sister made contact with the out-of-town practitioner and made an appointment with him for herself and her friend later today. My scheduled Deeksha occurred last Sunday as usual. I was at war with my pillow, mattress, and comforter for four hours before I finally fell to sleep. Much of the time was spent bonding with the practitioners, Angela, Shane, and their cat. I couldn't get comfortable and I was determined not to give in and get up-it was a mistake! When I did finally manage to get to sleep, I had horrible nightmares and dreams. I did mention a cleansing period in "part three" but I didn't expect that I would go through this again.